To my Solace..

I've been looking for the right words for almost thirty minutes now. The 'delete' button became my best friend already but still, I can't find the the right, exact, not cheesy words to tell you how much I appreciate you. Ah, there you go. What's with the sudden emotional overflow? Um, it is kinda hard to explain. You see, I decided to create an entry for you because I wanted to brag. Yes, that's right. Out of conceit. I really wanted them to know how you held me tonight. No, not that xxx sort of 'held' but it's how you put your arms around me and said I'm sorry. I know it's been hard for both of us these past few days because you have to go to school then go to work then do your household chores then there's me asking: "So, asan ako 'dun?". It's like you don't stop running around. OK, so it's been hard mostly on you, but hey, I love you so it's also difficult for me to see you having a hard time. Finally last night, after a long week, you were able to lie down beside me. Asleep. I tried to wake you up by kissing you lightly on your cheeks but then you were still asleep. Fast asleep. On the lips. I heard snores. When I couldn't bear it any longer, I shook your shoulders and that woke you up. You took a deep breath and said, "Pasensya na Mahal ha..". I thought you were already awake so I blabbered excitedly about how our cosplaying went only to notice you're snoring. Again. I gave up. So I gently ran my hands over the growing stubbles on your jaw and chin but to my surprise, you brushed it away. "Aba! Ang galing mo ha! Lumayas ka sa kama ko, umuwi ka sa inyo at doon ka plumakda at matulog na parang walang pakialam sa mundo!.." That's what I wanted to tell you. But since I'm a girl, I did what's natural. I pulled the other half of the blanket that's covering you! But you didn't respond. I took your tandayan but you didn't even budge a little. I picked the wallet out of your pocket but I guess there's nothing in there so you still didn't care. I tried opening your eyelids and blinding you with your CP's light but you just turned over and went back to sleep. Alas, I moved on the other edge of the bed, turned my back on you and did the second most natural thing to do. Sleep, of course! But I was so hurt that I cried. I keep on thinking that you might probably sleep until morning without realizing that you've brushed me away. I wanted to whack you on the head but I understood that you were dead tired. So there, I surrendered. I was ready to go to sleep with tears in my eyes and a burden in my heart when I felt you move. I turned over and saw you, in your sleep, reaching your arms out and looking for me. I instinctively moved away but you keep reaching out until you found me. (Besides, the bed isn't that large.) .. and in your arms, I continued crying. Lo and behold, that woke you up. Baka, ne? I don't know why but at that time, I felt I was the character of that TV series I was watching and I was pleased. I realized that I've been given the privilege of your arms' warmth for seven years already and they've always waited for my return. This is my dream that you made into reality. You are my very own genius, conductor and rockstar. Xie xie. Arigatou. Thank you.. :) Yours, Serenity..

5 comments:

blackdarkheart said...

ako kunyari "serious mode" na sa work para makalimutan muna ang singlehood. kita tayu sa payday ha! di ako papasok weh. si mitch ang naghahandle sa amin. Yes, si mitch the bitch. napakahypercritical nya! sabon ako parate sa quickcomm! at 4 na oras ata akong minonitor ng diretso! grrr. dahil wala naman si tl archie, kaya aabsent ako. hehe

puro unan na lang ang kayakap ko. haaay. kakainip magintay kay boyfriendship.

えすたひめ essie-hime said...

so, anung kinalaman nyan sa post ko? hehehe.. :D

-- Oo nga (sabi ni Arvin.. :p)

sige, meet tayo sa May 1, okies? mag load ka ha! :)

hungry_young_poet said...

you and chiaki had been given a rare jewel others can only dream of... and its such a great thing to know that in this busy world that's so accustomed to taking things for granted, you guys still manage to value and appreciate this gift.. =)
go go go Essiepoks and Arvintots! ^_________^ love you sooooo much guys! =)

えすたひめ essie-hime said...

@ hungry_young_poet

... and you did receive that jewel too, ne? (along with chicken skin ala mode.. :p)

i hope arvin and manong can finally meet tolskie, so he can see who brought those stars back in your eyes.. ^___^

muah.. :)

hungry_young_poet said...

indeed tol.. indeed.. ^________^ i hope mag-meet na nga po cla ni arvin.. =)

saikou da! =)