Wish-a, wish-a, wish wish wish list.. :p

Christmas season na! Para sa 'kin! :p Kidding, wala pa 'kong pang-regalo.. Anyway, i want to share here that I was pretty amazed with myself today. I created 5 wallpapers. Parang hindi ako nauubusan ng inspiration.. ^__^ If your curious, you can visit http://essie-hime.deviantart.com/ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Kaya ko nasabing christamas season na for me e dahil kanina pa nagpaparamdam ang wishlist. I mean, while I was uploading those wallpapers to deviantart, the word "WISHLIST" on my account's dashboard really had a pull on me.. So para mapagbigyan na din ang "pull" na 'yon, here's my wishlist. WARNING: Ah, bawal basahin kung hindi magbibigay! :p Haha, half-meant? Nyahahaha.. *Meanie Mode!* >:-P In no particular order: 1. Wacom pen tablet- so I can try my hands on free drawing. 2. Scanner- so kahit walang pen tablet, pwede ko na syang i-free hand sa paper then scan na lang.. :) pero siyempre, mas maganda pa din kung may tablet.. :p 3. Haruki Murakami's books- 'yung much recommended ni Wywy-dono na Sputnik Sweetheart & Norwegian Greenwood. Pero kahit anong title, pwede na. Curious lang talaga ako sa works nya.. ^__^ 4. Banana Yoshimoto's books- 'yung Kitchen.. ^__^ 5. Either iPod or PSP- nagdadalawang isip pa 'ko kung alin sa dalawa.. (-_-)" 6. Byousoku 5 CM DVD- kahit 'yung pirated lang, basta DVD copy.. :) 7. Honey and Clover Artbook- rare pictures ng Honey and Clover.. ^O,^ ----> drool 'Yun lang! ^___^ Hehe, parang walang wents 'tong blogpost ko na 'to.. Well, anyway. Slowly, makukuha ko din 'yang mga 'yan! Yey! Gambarimasu! ^______^

Hello, So long!

"Sayonara, LUGI!" - essie-hime

Yeah, I said "Bye Bye" already to my dreams of becoming an editorial assistant with LUGI (LevelUp Games Inc.). I mean, why should I still keep it? First of all, I lack experience. Second, the interview with the Editor-in-Chief didn't go well (sheeesh, I clammed up). Third, there was this yasashii (kind), kakoii (cool), hontoni bishounen (really good looking guy) beside me while I was waiting for my interview and guess what, he's also an applicant for the same position. Hontoni sugoi (really amazing), ne? Atashi no shin was crushed (sorry for the japlish, I can't say it in straight japanese yet, gomen!.. @____@) *sigh* From the start, I knew that having an experience in the writing field was a plus but I also knew it that if you lack experience, it wasn't a minus either. Experience, in terms of jobs, is just a proof that you've done those kind of shit before. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you're good at it, does it? If you look at it closer, experience shouldn't really matter because it's always a case to case basis. One might be good at writing these kind of stuff but then again, he might be bad on other stuff, right? And besides, human are very flexible beings, we can adapt and survive! Oh God. I'm so in ampalaya mode! Anyway, the interview with the Editor-in-Chief didn't really go as smooth as I expected it to be. Maybe because I tried to guess beforehand every question that he might ask me. You know, Miss Universe/ Job Interview questions like: "Why did you choose LevelUp?" or "If you were given a chance to climb the success ladder, how far do you think you can go?" or I even expected that "Tell me something about yourself" question. Maybe I was disappointed because, well, I did guess one question right. The most idiotic question in an interview, my most hated question. "Tell me..." Ugh! I'm not gonna finish it, so over-rated! So there, the interview was done in less than 30 minutes while Bishounen-san, who was interviewed ahead of me, took almost an hour. Man, I was really pressured on the idea that he was interviewed before me. It might have been a 'OK' situation if I weren't able to talk to him because then I wouldn't know that he's a former DJ (his term was FM radio announcer, how humble..T_T). And that he was also from Accenture who paid 100k just to get out of the bond. And that he was a real estate agent. And that he wrote restaurant reviews for clickthecity.com and got to be treated like a VIP. *envy* And best of all, that he's the same age as me. And that compared to him, I'm..... Kyaaaaaaaaaa.. I don't even have the right word. He broke my heart, stole my dream! Haha, just kidding! *hides under the bed* T___T *sigh* I mean, how can somebody like him do all those stuff in the span of three years since graduation while I, on the other hand, has done nothing but take calls. And watch anime. And read manga. And watch more anime. And read more manga. And then, take calls. ... ... ... Kyaaaaa, this is absurd! I want a life, life life! I want to go out there and experience how it feels to be like him. How to be like Kaoru. You know, people who do what they love to do. But then again, Bishounen-san said something that really hit me here *points heart*. Bullseye. He said that if you really do love writing, the only way to perfect it is through practice, practice, practice. Hmp. I knew that. But darn, I didn't practice. So this is the consequence. And since he's the one who's always practicing, he might be the new editorial assistant for the New Media department of LU. Congratulations.. :) So the next time I'm gonna visit LU's website, I kinda know who wrote those stuff. Bishounen-san. Some people are really amazing. And I'm one of them! Hahaha, gambarimasu*! Fight-o, fight-o, fight-o! Tsk, let me be. I'm cheering myself up! :p I know there would always be somebody better than me at what I'm trying to achieve but nobody can do it like I do! Do, do, do, do, do! Hala, nabaliw na 'ko, gomen! Oh, and one more thing. Here's the pic of bishie-san. It's from the launch of their station: I know, he kinda looks like an egg here but hey, he's really cute in person. He reminds me of Billie Crawford. And Bishie-san, sorry if I posted your picture here. Hope you never get to see this blog post and if ever you do, *bows* hontoni gomen! Sorry! ^___^V peace! Ganbatte! Yoroshiku, ne!

Papers and Bronze

I want more than what you can give. More than a 4-digit shoe Or a coat That I would forever hang in my closet More than scribbles on shirts Or two-lettered signs That I can barely care for I know I need them, you know People on statues In my pocket I need a hero, right now But I also want dreams Memories So I'm closing my eyes one more time Just for a moment, please Stop saving me.

Reminiscing college days with Neruda.. :D

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars, and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance." The night wind whirls in the sky and sings. I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too. On nights like this, I held her in my arms. I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky. She loved me, sometimes I loved her. How could I not have loved her large, still eyes? I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her. To hear the immense night, more immense without her. And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass. What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her. The night is full of stars and she is not with me. That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away. My soul is lost without her. As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her. My heart searches for her and she is not with me. The same night that whitens the same trees. We, we who were, we are the same no longer. I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her. My voice searched the wind to touch her ear. Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once belonged to my kisses. Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes. I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her. Love is so short and oblivion so long. Because on nights like this I held her in my arms, my soul is lost without her. Although this may be the last pain she causes me, and this may be the last poem I write for her. Saddest Poem by Pablo Neruda o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- This poem is one of the reasons why I love Pablo Neruda.. :) haaaay.. I forgot who made me read Neruda in college but I'm really grateful.. :D 'Yun lang, no time to create another well thought post eh.. Busy-busyhan, ne, Ady-chan? ^__^V "Believe!"

Inspired? ^___^V

I made another batch of wallpapers from our cosplay pictures.. Hehe, inspired? :D Nah, just cheering myself up! Here they are: -- this is for {Kaoru}.. ;) We thought that this shot was "pang-wallpaper", so there, a wallpaper for you.. ^___^V .. and this wallpaper is to explain why we don't have Mayama, Morita and Takemoto with us.. Ayu and I were on a summer vacation, yey! Haha. I really wished there were 5 of us cosplaying here. I'm just wondering who will play who.. :p suggestions, mga 'tol? and this is the other version of the HachiKuro wallpaper I posted before: Yey.. -o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- A friend told me she noticed that I'm more inclined on editing pictures than writing stories. Hmmmn, that may be true. I wonder..

Cosplay.. ^__^

Got the pictures from our cosplay! ^___^V Yosh! Here are some for NANA: This is the hardest pose to do! I had to pretend I smoke ala NANA but my manly hands won't flick like a lady! Hehe, oh well! Mukha namang OK sya dito.. xD Ah, my hair is sticking out in a weird way.. I tied my hair into two pigtails, tucked them under the cap then I let the ends hang loose.. :p a "haircut" somehow.. xD Hehe, when I saw our pictures, this came to mind immediately! i really wanted to put us in the manga! Haha.. :) Now, here are some of our Honey and Clover Pictures.. ^__^ Ah, serious mode.. ^___^ Hmmn.. :) Edited our favorite pic.. :) I have another version of this picture, better check it out on http://profiles.friendster.com/capricciosocantabile.. ^___^V Enjoy! PS. To Master Vhojie, we are not worthy of your talent kind Sir. Thank you! :D

To my Solace..

I've been looking for the right words for almost thirty minutes now. The 'delete' button became my best friend already but still, I can't find the the right, exact, not cheesy words to tell you how much I appreciate you. Ah, there you go. What's with the sudden emotional overflow? Um, it is kinda hard to explain. You see, I decided to create an entry for you because I wanted to brag. Yes, that's right. Out of conceit. I really wanted them to know how you held me tonight. No, not that xxx sort of 'held' but it's how you put your arms around me and said I'm sorry. I know it's been hard for both of us these past few days because you have to go to school then go to work then do your household chores then there's me asking: "So, asan ako 'dun?". It's like you don't stop running around. OK, so it's been hard mostly on you, but hey, I love you so it's also difficult for me to see you having a hard time. Finally last night, after a long week, you were able to lie down beside me. Asleep. I tried to wake you up by kissing you lightly on your cheeks but then you were still asleep. Fast asleep. On the lips. I heard snores. When I couldn't bear it any longer, I shook your shoulders and that woke you up. You took a deep breath and said, "Pasensya na Mahal ha..". I thought you were already awake so I blabbered excitedly about how our cosplaying went only to notice you're snoring. Again. I gave up. So I gently ran my hands over the growing stubbles on your jaw and chin but to my surprise, you brushed it away. "Aba! Ang galing mo ha! Lumayas ka sa kama ko, umuwi ka sa inyo at doon ka plumakda at matulog na parang walang pakialam sa mundo!.." That's what I wanted to tell you. But since I'm a girl, I did what's natural. I pulled the other half of the blanket that's covering you! But you didn't respond. I took your tandayan but you didn't even budge a little. I picked the wallet out of your pocket but I guess there's nothing in there so you still didn't care. I tried opening your eyelids and blinding you with your CP's light but you just turned over and went back to sleep. Alas, I moved on the other edge of the bed, turned my back on you and did the second most natural thing to do. Sleep, of course! But I was so hurt that I cried. I keep on thinking that you might probably sleep until morning without realizing that you've brushed me away. I wanted to whack you on the head but I understood that you were dead tired. So there, I surrendered. I was ready to go to sleep with tears in my eyes and a burden in my heart when I felt you move. I turned over and saw you, in your sleep, reaching your arms out and looking for me. I instinctively moved away but you keep reaching out until you found me. (Besides, the bed isn't that large.) .. and in your arms, I continued crying. Lo and behold, that woke you up. Baka, ne? I don't know why but at that time, I felt I was the character of that TV series I was watching and I was pleased. I realized that I've been given the privilege of your arms' warmth for seven years already and they've always waited for my return. This is my dream that you made into reality. You are my very own genius, conductor and rockstar. Xie xie. Arigatou. Thank you.. :) Yours, Serenity..